“When it comes to being gentle, start with yourself. Don’t get upsest with your imperfections. Being disappointed by failure is understandable, but it shouldn’t turn into bitterness or spite directed at yourself. It’s a great mistake because it leads nowhere—to get angry because you are angry; upset at being upset; disappointed because you are disappointed.”
—St. Frances de Sales (via bokura)
May 2013
Should we just give up?
Between you and I, nothing was ever pleasant - not since a long time ago. I don’t know when we changed … I guess it happened too fast for any of us to realize it … And we both sunk into our own disgust for one another … That only grew and festered, … and came back as soon as we wiped the slate. I couldn’t stand being around you or hearing your voice - and I still can’t. You are one of the people I can’t stand most in the world … Needless to say, I don’t hate you. How can I?
I have so many qualms about you. And you, me. But neither of us will change. Thus, we will always be the same and these feelings will remain.
For everyone else, things have become different too. Not because they wanted it to, but because it happened. But they don’t deserve it. That is why I won’t give up. While you run away in your anger, I will stay in my anger. While they can do without me, they still need you. I don’t want to be the one responsible for destroying their foundation. I want them to have what I couldn’t really have- what I don’t have anymore. While you and I not getting along doesn’t bother me very much (or as much as it should), it bothers them. It affects them so much in their adolescence- in their childhood. I don’t even know if they realize it … But they’re good kids and you’ve raised them right. I don’t know where you went wrong with me. But I was a mistake in the first place anyways. I’m just sorry you can’t fix this mistake.
All I ask is that you don’t walk out on them.
